Is there anything wrong with going on dates via public transport? A Twitter user has suggested that it makes no sense to go on dates or attend parties through public transport.

“I will never understand people that enter public transport to parties or dates,” tweets Miss Cherry Wine [@_tayoxo].

She concludes the tweet by asking rhetorically if going on any of those events is “ever that deep.”

The only thing that came to my mind after reading that tweet was ‘standards’ and it has got me thinking again about how ridiculous a good number of them are, especially if you have been paying attention with any form of [ir]regularity to thoughts coming off Twitter NG since the past two, three years.

Twitter NG & Relationship standards

It is safe to say Twitter has seen loads and loads of opinions and standards – brilliant and obtuse – about how relationships and marriages in Nigeria should be.

Take for instance the tiring gripe on there about men being unfit for marriage if they earn only #200K – this same argument has, at another time, been built around #100K.

There has also been one about who should pay for first dates, ownership of cars before becoming marriage-worthy; there is an endless one about gender roles in modern relationships, about cheating and on and on.

And now we have Miss Cherry Wine’s opinion about going on dates via public transport.

Is there a problem with going on dates via public transport?
A big, big no. It’d be a waste of time to not categorically state that already.

To have a different opinion to this would be to shrink the dating pool in the country to just the number of people who have cars. It goes without saying that doing this would be just as blindingly insensitive as genuinely believing that only people who earn #200k are fit for marriage.

And this is where Ms. Cherry particularly got it wrong: while it’s OK to have certain tastes based on personal circumstances and financial realities, it is not OK to turn up your nose at other people’s [supposedly inferior] preferences which are also based on the stage they’re at in their life/relationship journey.

That anyone would find it difficult to wrap their head around this says a lot about such mind and the quality of the thoughts contained in it.

The tone of that tweet also suggests that the tweeter thinks public transport only includes yellow buses and long buses, hence the apparent condescension.

But of course public transport is not just about that. Public transport is transport… available for use by the general public.

By this definition, cabs and even uber rides are all under the designation of public transport; but as Ms. Cherry Wine and her tweet would have you believe, uber rides, BRT buses, yellow buses, bikes and whatever means of transport you can afford with your money are not good enough to go on dates in.

Own your standards
Without further dwelling on many of the personal relationship ideas people try to push as ideal on social media, it needs to be said that everyone needs and deserves to own their romantic journeys [don’t worry, the pun wasn’t intended].

How you choose to go on a date or to a party is your business and that of whomever you are going with or going there to meet.

On a grander scale, how you to choose to walk the the full walk of your relationship with your partner, and how you choose to be, is solely between you, them and no one else.

Standards on Twitter or anywhere else be damned; they do not need to be your reality.

Ayoola Adetayo,